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News & Expert Advice
A Blog for the LGBT Community Who Love To CruiseRandall Shirley: Editor
Tom Baker: Cruise Expert
Don Church & Tony Schillaci: Guest Writers
Tagged: gay-friendly RSS
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Randall Shirley
Mind your manners in cruise ship steam rooms.
Cruisey steam room lurkers…please mind your manners. All too often I hear gay men talk about cruises, and giggle about steam room antics.
Several years ago, my partner and I were on a Royal Caribbean ship, mainstream itinerary, with a really nice, adult-only male steam room. Problem was, it wasn’t so pleasant for most of the trip due to the incessant cruising of a fellow passenger. God knows why he booked a cabin–he should have just stowed away in the steam room as he seemed to be in there all the time…or else our schedules were strangely identical.
I was not looking for sex in the steam room, nor were most of the other men who used it during the cruise. But the cruisey guy worked it and worked it and worked it. I won’t go into details of his behavior–but there was no question why he was there. It doesn’t matter whether he was attractive or not, his behavior was the kind of thing that is not “straight friendly” or approrpriate.
Later in the cruise, he admitted that he was closeted, from a conservative midwest town, and traveling with his parents. The steam room was his entree into the gay world, and back in Kansas it could be months before he’d have freedom like this again. Well, I never saw it pay off for him…all it did was frustrate him further and bother a lot of guests who just wanted to relax and detox in the steam.
I’m no prude, and I realize that steam rooms everywhere–from hotels to gyms to cruise ships–have historically been pick-up spots. I realize that there are (sadly) closeted people…although in this age I think that’s ridiculous. I realize there are some gays who, for whatever reason, have a wife, and look for men on the side.
If that’s you–or you know someone who is a steam room lurker on mainstream cruise itineraries–please reconsider your behavior. Most of the other men–including gay men–in the facility are likely not looking for sex. Instead of sexualizing the place and potentially disturbing other guests, try just being friendly and inviting someone you find interesting to have a drink elsewhere on the ship, and work your magic from there.
We have come a long way in gaining the “gay-friendly” attitudes and respect we now find throughout the cruise industry. My partner and I act just like any couple on a ship–we hold hands, briefly kiss hello/goodbye, eat from each other’s plates, finish each other’s sentences…there’s no question we’re together. That’s the kind of “gay behavior” that is appropriate in a public area on a cruise ship.
Cruise lines welcome us, and middle-America is gradually getting used to us. I believe it’s important that gay people act in a manner that deserves and continues to earn that respect from both our fellow passengers and crews, everywhere on the ship.
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Randall Shirley
Luxury cruise "freebie" perks & tips from a gay travel agent
Luxury cruise expert Josh Friedman & pal Kirby
There’s a big secret out there that many gay luxury cruise travelers don’t realize: “complimentary perks.”* Many cruise lines such as Seabourn, Regent Seven Seas, Silversea and Crystal offer these perks, as well as some of the longer cruises on Holland America and Cunard.
What type of free perks might be offered?
1. Complimentary shore excursions. Depending on the agency that you book with, these excursions can be quite spectacular and can include exclusive events just for your group. An example might be a gala event at Henry Cabot Lodge’s residence in Saigon or a private group lunch and swim in St. Barts.
2. Onboard credits. Typically these credits are between $150-$175 per person.
3. Onboard host. To make your experience even that more memorable, an on board host will guide you along the way.
4. Cocktail Reception. I can’t think of a better way to begin your cruise than to meet your fellow travelers.
5. Exclusivity. Cruise lines actually like it when you book through one of their preferred agencies and they’ll take care of you (unofficially) a bit better if something goes array.Are there gay groups on board? There are a few gay hosts who would love to have members of the LGBT community sailing with them. I know I sure would! Traveling with a LGBT group can make it much more enjoyable. Due to the generally-smaller size of the luxury ships, there are rarely gay groups onboard. You’re likely to find other gay individuals or couples though, which can be plenty of fun.
How do I get these perks? Many of these perks are not available if you book directly through the cruise line so I recommend you use an agency that has a large cruise club, usually as part of an affiliation with a travel marketing group. The three most popular are – Virtuoso, Signature and Ensemble.
If you love to cruise but have never sailed on a luxury line, I would highly recommend that you include it in your future travel plans. Don’t we all deserve a little pampering?
Josh Friedman is a Virtuoso travel agent based in San Francisco specializing in luxury travel for small groups and individuals. His relationships with the world’s top hotels, cruise lines and local agencies will ensure your successful business or leisure trip. If you’d like to learn more about luxury travel you can contact Josh at: josh@joshfriedmantravel.com. Follow him on Twitter, too.
*Editor’s note: nothing is really complimentary or free! You’re paying for it, but just getting a better deal.
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Randall Shirley
Homophobic countries, would you cruise or travel there?
I’m keen to travel and cruise just about anywhere, and like you, I have something of a destination dream list. Cruise destinations like Barbados, Grenada, Trinidad, and St. Lucia in the Caribbean are certainly of interest. Further afield, the Maldives, Sri Lanka, Samoa, and Mauritius are all places I’d love to cruise.
Countries where it is illegal to be gay are marked in yellow, orange, and red colors, image courtesy Wikipedia Commons.
Malawi was never on my travel list. However, the events that occurred in Malawi over the past few months have made me think a lot about whether or not I should travel to countries where it’s illegal to be gay. (In case you haven’t heard, a gay Malawian couple was imprisoned for getting engaged; after massive international outcry the couple was released from prison, one of them is now trying to be straight and the other lives in fear for his life).
According to the annual ILGA* report State-sponsored Homophobia: a worldwide survey of laws prohibiting same-sex activity between consenting adults, it is currently illegal to be gay in 76 countries, “including the ‘infamous five’ which put people to death for their sexual orientation: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Yemen (plus some parts of Nigeria and Somalia).”
I’m not surprised to see those five on the list. But digging into their list is fascinating. Other than South Africa, I’ve always assumed we’re “criminals” everywhere in Africa. Not so. Surprisingly, being gay is not a crime in a handful of African countries, among them Benin, Chad, Côte d’Ivoire, Niger, Democratic Republic of Congo, and Madagascar.
What should be more sobering to gay and lesbian travelers is the reminder that we are very illegal in some nearby, sexy vacation spots, as listed above. Jamaica has a particularly bad reputation with gay travelers. But other spots where gay people go have nasty laws that, if ever enforced, could land you in the proverbial brig, or worse. In Barbados homosexuality carries a life sentence.
Of course, enforcement varies around the globe. While homosexuality is legal in most of the world’s nations, that doesn’t mean it’s widely accepted. While I am comfortable holding my partner’s hand throughout our “home ports” of Seattle and Vancouver, I doubt I’d do the same in Acapulco or Shanghai—or New Orleans, for that matter–all in countries where homosexuality is legal.
The big question is really this: should we visit countries where we’re “illegal?” Check out the easy-to-read list of countries on Wikipedia.org. Then tell me what you think. Also, I’d love to hear if you’ve ever been harassed or had problems when cruising through gay-unfriendly destinations.
* The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association
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Dave Cantrall
Thanks for posting this interesting – yet disturbing – article.
Would I visit countries which are against gays (thus me)? No, I would not. -
Rick
Hell freakin’ no. Don’t give countries that criminalize us one red cent of our tourist money.
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Liz
I’m a gay rights supporter planning my honeymoon in the Caribbean, and I’ve backed out of a decision to vacation in Jamaica after learning of the anti-gay culture and rampant anti-gay violence in that country. I think all LGBT couples, individuals, and any person that supports equal rights for all people should think long and hard before supporting the tourist industry in a country that blatantly oppresses the rights of its LGBT citizens.
Thanks a lot for this article!
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Ping Wei
In Shanghai or Beijing, holding hands will be fine, but not kissing.
I’m now at the Gay Games in Cologne this week. One of the message the German vice chancellor delivered at the opening ceremony was “no religions can justify killing (referring death for people’s homosexuality”. I would say no religion can justify hatred, which then include US.
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Ralph Denney
I agree with Rick… if if they don’t want me because I love a man… then they don’t deserve my money. It’s really as simple as that. There’s enough places where we don’t have to worry to visit for the rest of our lives. We should also let our families and friends know about this.
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Julian
My partner and I try to avoid any destinations which are notoriously known for their homophobia. We have no interest in visiting Jamaica. Furthermore, we wont even visit places in the USA that are too conservative.
We cruised to Alaska with a gay group last September and we encountered a church group with signs protesting our arrival to Juneau, yelling out homophobic slurs. Luckily we all laughed it off and it did not ruin our short stay. -
Julian
Actually, we should all boycott those places…. they will definately hurt financially…money makes the world around, you know…
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Pedro
You should be aware that during the past 2 weeks, a trong homophobic environnement occur in Costa-rica, a so called paradise. ” young men (34 and 23) were brutally murdered in their house, a gay bar was attacked and two Drag Queens doing a show were assaulted. Beware of Costa-Rica. JUst back from tthere and will never go again. The Press specially the DIario Extra is the worst homophobic newspaper.
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Lee
So many destinations/so little time. Why waste it in places we’re “illegal”?
Thanks for posting this article and the Wikipedia link to “places to go and places not to….”
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Khaled
I think we should each be opening up our worlds….what about people who move to live in countries where it’s illegal or at least not wholly legal to practice an alternative sexuality? Many countries who are not gay-friendly will certainly not miss a few of us choosing not to go there – much better to build up a critical mass to the point where ‘we’ have a voice in those countries and can back change.
We’re a gay couple who moved from Europe to India, and work in the tourism sector. Most decent properties have no issues with different sleeping arrangements and treat all guests with respect regardless. In my experience this is much the same the world over, even in Arab states (OK, lets not include Saudi in that!) like Dubai or Abu Dhabi.
If you want to see the world, then why let sexuality be a barrier – choose wisely, travel safely and enjoy every moment.
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beachcomberT
Well, the vacation world is not neatly divided into pro-gay and anti-gay. In just about any country, public sex is going to be illegal, but the penalties and enforcement would vary widely. I have enjoyed several cruise getaways to the Bahamas but I would not be flamboyant on that island. Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands, on the other hand, would be safer and more tolerant. Use common sense and save your outrageous behavior for your own room or cabin.
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Marvin Perton
Atlantis should not include homophobic destinations on their itineraries. In this case, Atlantis abandoned their guests overnight in a fetid, filthy jail cell as though they were criminals. Tney were subject to vermin, verbal abuse and third world prison conditions. Shame on Atlantis – not the two guys who were arrested. Shame on the captain of the ship for allowing the island officials to haul these men off the ship. How can anyone of the dock or in the nearby town have seen the men having sex on their balcony? I will only choose those destinatons where being gay is not illegal. moreover, as a travel agent with a gay following, I would not recommend these destinations to my clients. Marvin – Cruisin’ with Marvin
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Kim
HELL YES!!!! I am go glad for these countries a place where I can wake up and not see ppl spiting on gods word. Buying my ticket today
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Randall Shirley
Royal Caribbean pulls out of LA – Mexico Market
I’m not toally sure what this means, but apparently cruisers are wanting more exotic destinations. Royal
RCI's Mariner of the Seas, image courtesy RCI
Caribbean announced today that they are pulling their Mariner of the Seas off the Mexican Riviera, without much explanation, and moving it to European itineraries. They are offering a package to guests already booked on the Mariner‘s Mexico itineraries.
I’m rather perplexed by this move, and will do further research. What do you think?
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ROYAL CARIBBEAN ANNOUNCES NEW 2011-12 DEPLOYMENT FOR MARINER OF THE SEASMariner of the Seas to Augment Record-setting Europe Deployment in 2011MIAMI, April 22, 2010 – Royal Caribbean International today announced the redeployment of Mariner of the Seas, which will take effect in January 2011. Mariner of the Seas will offer a short South America season before debuting in the Mediterranean as Royal Caribbean’s record-setting 11th ship in the region for summer 2011. Mariner of the Seas will homeport at Rome (Civitavecchia) from March through October 2011, replacing Splendour of the Seas, which will now homeport in Venice, offering 10- and 11-night Greek Isles and Turkey itineraries for the season. Mariner of the Seas will then return to North America for the 2011-12 winter season, offering seven-night Western Caribbean itineraries from Galveston, Texas, replacing Voyager of the Seas. As a result, Voyager of the Seas will herald Royal Caribbean’s return to New Orleans in winter 2011-12, offering vacationers another Gulf Coast port to embark on a memorable seven-night Western Caribbean cruise.The Mexican Riviera has traditionally been an important market for Royal Caribbean International, with the Port of Los Angeles and Mexican local, state and federal government agencies, and their private sectors playing a supportive role as valued partners. While Royal Caribbean International looks forward to returning to the region in the future, Mariner of the Seas will sail its final round-trip Mexican Riviera itinerary from Los Angeles on January 9, 2011.Guests currently booked on Mariner of the Seas’ Mexican Riviera sailings from January 16, 2011, and onward will be contacted with the following offer. Until May 6, 2010, affected guests can opt for a full refund of any fares paid, or enjoy $200 onboard credit per stateroom ($400 per suite category stateroom) when they rebook their vacation, at the same fare or lower prevailing fare, on a Mariner of the Seas sailing before January 16, 2011, or on the same 2011 departure date aboard Voyager of the Seas, sailing from Galveston. Travel agents also will receive a $50 bonus commission for rebooking affected clients, whose names and deposits have been submitted, to these Mariner of the Seas and Voyager of the Seas sailings. More information is available at http://www.RoyalCaribbean.com/MarinerOfTheSeasRedeployment.On January 16, 2011, Mariner of the Seas will reposition from Los Angeles on a 16-night itinerary to Valparaiso, Chile, followed by a 14-night voyage that cruises the Straits of Magellan and Cape Horn at the southern tip of South America to Sao Paulo (Santos), Brazil. The ship will then offer a short Brazilian cruise season, before crossing the Atlantic to debut in Europe at its new seasonal homeport of Rome (Civitavecchia), where Mariner of the Seas will sail seven-night Western Mediterranean and 12-night Mediterranean Holy Land and Mediterranean Egypt itineraries. In November 2011, Mariner of the Seas will debut at Galveston to offer Texas vacationers two roundtrip seven-night Western Caribbean itineraries through April 2012. Mariner of the Seas’ new 2011 Europe and South America, and 2011-12 Western Caribbean itineraries, Splendour of the Seas’ new 2011 Europe itineraries, and Voyager of the Seas’ new 2011-12 Western Caribbean itineraries will be opened for booking in the near future.Guests aboard Mariner of the Seas’ new 2011 Holy Land itineraries can choose a variety of shore excursion options, at an additional charge, that visit some of the most sacred sites in Israel, including Bethlehem, Nazareth, the Wailing Wall, the Church of the Holy Sepulcher and many others. “Grand Overland” takes guests on the most comprehensive overview of this fascinating region with an overnight stay in Jerusalem. On the Egypt cruises, “Grand Egypt Tour” offers guests a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the awe-inspiring Pyramids and mysterious Sphinx at Cairo, and the Valley of the Kings in Luxor. Guests also should not miss the largest collection of Roman ruins in the eastern Mediterranean and the iconic Library of Celsius on “Best of Ephesus.”
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Steve
I’m very surprised to hear this. I’ve been on this cruise twice and it’s always been full and very popular. I believe this is the ship that Atlantis goes on every October. I don’t think they’ll switch to Carnival.
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Randall Shirley
Agreed Steve–Carnival is likely not the option Atlantis will take. Will be interesting to see what happens in that market. I sense there is a lot of focus on Europe as the economy continues its bumpy rebound, but we will see. Europe is great, but the airfare is a real bite.
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Steve
I guess it once again shows that the rich are getting richer. Airfares to Europe are not getting cheaper plus the cruises on the Med are not coming down. I guess the average American will need to stick with Carnival when it comes to the Mexican Riviera. ;(
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Paul
I’d love to see Atlantis jump to Princess for Mexico cruises. However, even Princess is cutting back in the market.
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Dee
Just heard the Interesting news. I wonder if it is because of the drug war taking place in the baja? I am surprised and will miss them. I have taken 5 Mexican Riviera cruises in the past and have always enjoyed the GREAT vacation atmosphere aboard the ship. I don’t know if I want to sail Princess. I wish them well!
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Tom Baker
Ship Review: Oasis of the Seas from a gay cruise expert
In our first ship review by cruise expert Tom Baker, we go onboard Royal Caribbean’s new Oasis of the Seas. –Ed.
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Size Queens: Oasis of the Seas is five times larger than the Titanic, and the original Love Boat Pacific Princess could fit comfortably in the Oasis’ Opus Dining Room–amazing!
Overall I rate the ship a 10 for innovative features. I would choose to vacation on this ship.
Mark your calendar, there are currently two gay group and charters on sister ship
Allure of the Seas.
- Atlantis Events has a sold-out full ship charter in February of 2011 on identical twin ship Allure of the Seas, you might wait-list with rates starting at $1249pp.
- Aquafest Events has a Labor Day-Getaway Summer group September 4, 2011 on Allure of the Seas with rates starting at $759pp.
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- This is a great ship for families, both multi-generational and families traveling together.
Tom Baker aboard Oasis of the Seas
It’s great for couples, honeymooners, and singles!- While it has features for handicapped guests, it is a bit big and accessibility could be challenging although there were a large number of disabled guests on my cruise and they all seemed to be getting along just fine.
- I would not recommend this to seniors or for folks looking for a more traditional cruise experience. There is nothing traditional about this ship whatsoever…
- If you want to be part of something really special-cruise on this ship. You will pay a premium to do it but it is different than anything else out there.
- Bargain hunters-shop elsewhere. There are lots of great deals on cruises but this is an experience that is unique and promises to be for years to come!!!!
After sailing on some 250 cruise ships worldwide, I am in absolute amazement after disembarking the new Oasis of the Seas. For gay cruisers looking for something totally unique, Oasis of the Seas and her sister ship coming late in 2010 are here just for you…
Stats. As the largest cruise ship ever built, Oasis is 1,187 feet long, 208 feet wide, with 18 decks above the sea. There wow factor everywhere. I am overwhelmed by its architecture, array of cabins, entertainment venues, dining options, and massive size-again WOW!
Unique. Oasis and her to-come sister-ship are in a class of their own, There has never been anything like them and may not be anything to top them for many years to come. There are no plans to rival them by any other cruise line and even Royal Caribbean has no plans to top this incredible outing. It would be ten years before a ship could be drawn up, financed and built.
Pricing. These ships are so unique that they are collecting a premium price by guests willing to pay for something they cannot find on anywhere else. Deal seekers…sorry, this one isn’t for you. Prices start at a low of $1099 per-person for interior cabins. The cabins ands suites are bigger and better than any other ship in the company’s fleet. Smallest cabins start at 149 square feet; the largest suite is 1,524 square feet plus a balcony of 843 square feet.
Embarkation. The new terminal at Port Everglades (Fort Lauderdale) built exclusively for Oasis of the Seas and Allure of the Seas is the best designed and flowing terminal anywhere. Check-in took less than two minutes and boarding was within 20 minutes of arrival at the pier. Cabins are not open for embarkation until 1:00 p.m. but you can enjoy a welcome aboard meal, make spa appointments, and tour the ship to get a feel for your exciting cruise!
Overview. I visited many cabins and suites, and felt all were above cruise industry standards, well decorated, and
A stateroom on Oasis of the Seas
ample for a cruise for 7-days.
Most of the cabins on this ship consist of balcony staterooms, standard at 182 square feet and balconies that range in size from 50-82 additional square feet depending on your location. Since 90% of the ships accommodations are this type of cabin, I will focus on this specifically. These are spacious rooms with twin or queen sized beds, a full sized couch, vanity, 32 inch flat screen television with internet connectivity and plenty of channels .
- Storage. There are three drawers for storage a couple of narrow cupboards, and a small refrigerator which will act as a mini-bar. The closet sits alongside the bed or next to the couch depending on the cabin configuration. There is ample storage for a couple (maybe for a third guest). There are a few shelves and a tiny safe one of the lower shelves. Cabin doors open outwards into an alcove so there seems to be more internal space.
- Bathrooms are well laid out with a long vanity but tiny, impractical sink. There is enough storage space for toiletries, although it’s awkward. The shower stall had nice space with sliding doors for total privacy.
- The phone is digital, easy to use, has a clock, alarm, and can be used for any reservations or room service. The same can be done by using your interactive cabin television.
Public Spaces
Oasis of the Seas has more dedicated space to passengers than any other in history.
I was particularly taken with two areas.
- The Royal Promenade spans decks 5 and 6. It is a huge area that offers the ships Guest Relations desk, coffee bar, Champagne Bar, photo shops, Pubs, Bars, Dining Venues, Cupcake Shop-they are delicious, and an amazing Rising Tide Bar. An elevator wine bar that travels from deck 5 to deck 8 (Central Park). It is a unique feature that has a wonderful waterfall that works under the bar as it moves up and down into a gorgeous skylight above embarking guests on decks 5 or 8. It is something to behold!
- The 6 level high Central Park area which spans an area in length of nearly 500 feet and flanks two massive
glass enclosed stairwells and elevator shafts that transverses from top to bottom of this massive luxury liner. The gorgeously landscaped Central Park is filled with tropical trees, plants, and flowers-nearly 12,000 and lined with elegant boutiques, bars, and fee-based alternative restaurants that offer gourmet international cosine. There is a really awesome dining venue that is like a bistro market called the Park Cafe which is open for breakfast and lunch and was popular.
These are only two of 7 neighborhoods–I could go on and on but you get the picture.
Dining Venues
There are dozens of dining venues on this ship ranging from the casual Windjammer Cafe on Deck 16 to the massive and most popular Opus dining room spanning decks 3-5, Sorrento’s Italian Cafe on the Royal Promenade, and the gorgeous gourmet fee based 150 Central Park. I tried a number of venues and found the food to be above Royal Caribbean standard (impressive as I was on a travel agent/press junket as guinea pigs for this massive start up ship). The quality was good to excellent and the variety would give the most sophisticated palate a run for their money. A week onboard would not even allow one to try everything this ship has t offer unless you spent your entire time running from venue to venue…
Service
Was friendly from stem to stern. While the ship is ramping up and half the staff has never worked on a ship before, a pleasant hello was always in order from the staff met throughout the ship. I think this will be a very friendly ship. All staff that I spoke with was very proud and happy to be a part of this one-of-a-kind exciting cruise ship.
Entertainment If you ever thought you would be bored on a cruise ship, Oasis will prove you wrong. It has seven unique neighborhoods–each with a theme and unique style giving the ship a kaleidoscope of style and decor.
- Rock climbing, ice skating, flow-riding, or zip lining are available.
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Ziplining on board Oasis of the Seas
- Oasis has a huge number of entertainment venues ranging from the professional Broadway Opal Theater which will have production shows and a full rendition of the popular show Hairspray.
- Aqua-Theater offers a great aquatic and diving show.
- Excellent gym, pools, and fitness areas–perfect for the gym-bunnies!
- Royal Promenade parades with themes ranging from 70’s disco to zany cirque like costumes
- Multiple dance clubs both indoors and out.
- Jazz club, karaoke club, comedy club, strolling singers, musicians, piano bar, live music everywhere
- Beautiful ice skating rink with magnificent ice show,
- and much more…
My Top 10 Favorite Things
- The best designed user-friendly “find it” board. The ship has easy access electronic maps telling you how to find your cabin, public spaces, daily programs, and dining venue capacity offerings everywhere. It is well signed and fairly easy to find your way around.
- It has the best architecture of any cruise ship ever built-period!
- There is an incredible array of comfortable and well designed cabins suites for all budgets and tastes
- The food is above par for any other Royal Caribbean ship I have been on and the variety of dining venues is exceptional.
- The Aqua Theater and many entertainment venues will never allow for boredom as there are so many multiple options for everybody.
- The spa and gym are among the best I have seen anywhere in the World
- This ship will WOW kids and teens of all ages with the most extensive and cool programming and dedicated areas. It is amazing!!!!
- The Central Park area is romantic and high-end, filled with designer shops, wine bars, and gourmet dining venues. It is perfect for adults, honeymooners and up market travelers looking for the BEST!
- Embarkation and disembarkation was the easiest of any ship I have even been on
- This ship has the most variety of any ship I have ever been on-book a cruise on it and enjoy all that it has to offer.
10 Things I Did Not Like
- The ramp at embarkation was way to steep for almost anybody but it is being corrected.
- The shower head does not slide up and down bad for shorter guests who cannot reach it.
- The Boardwalk and Central Park cabins face each other so privacy is a real issue.
- The bathroom sinks in virtually all standard cabins is tiny and your head will hit the mirror if you stoop down to use it properly-use caution!
- The noise factor is higher than most ships due to huge cavernous spaces and hard surfaces
- The Windjammer Cafe is smaller than most other Royal Caribbean ships and although the design is excellent, the space is very crowded.
- The pool areas albeit designed well and there are many of them are small. I think when the ship is full, there will be some issues finding deck chairs in the sun and around the pool itself.
- One must have a reservation for all shows. This does not allow for flexibility for people like me who decide on the cuff. It is more like going to Las Vegas.
- The ship has some going up and around to get to certain places making transverse difficult. This isn’t bad but could have been planned better.
- The Central Park area on Deck 8 where the gorgeous plantings is very muggy and does not have enough breeze going through it.
Conclusion: The pros far outweigh the cons in the big scheme of things. A colleague asked me if I would vacation on this ship and I was very quick to say YES!!!
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Scott
Thanks for the review, I am booked on the Allure for the Feb cruise and I can’t wait.
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Ed Sexauer
An excellent review with the plus and minus sides well covered. I, too, have booked the February cruise and am really looking forward to it. And, we can count on Atlantis to do things right, also.
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Marc
I just came off of this ship Saturday and yes sinks are small in bathroom and Windjammer is smaller, But that is about the only negative we found. Awesome ship and first rate entertainment. The Rising Tide bar is not a wine bar as we had a group of 8 with different tastes that were all satisfied. Vintages on Central Park is a wine bar. We are booked on Allure in September 2011.
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parag
I quite liked the review of this cruise. Specially knowing that it has good accessibility for the disabled one’s. I am a person with disability and feel this should be a good deal for me.
Cruise Ship Reviews -
Gordon Peterson
I was actually surprised by what a nice breeze there was in Central Park. On our sailing, there were ALWAYS plenty of seats at EVERY show for last-minute arrivals… but reservations allow you to ENSURE a seat for the performances you prefer. I think there were LOTS of deck chairs (unlike many ships where they are at a real premium). I think there should always be plenty available.
I’m surprised nobody mentioned the VERY cool mirror-finish control panels over the public men’s room urinals, which give you a PERFECT view of your “equipment”.
That is the most unexpectedly delightful thing I loved about Oasis. )I have over 2000 pics from our 12 days onboard which are online at Snapfish, which I’ll be glad to share with anybody interested.
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Randall Shirley
Cruise Ports of a Lifetime?
- Your Editor above Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; truly a cruise destination of a lifetime!
I just got my new National Geographic Traveler magazine (October 2009), and they’re reviving the 50 places concept. It’s been 10 years since they first created their list, and now they’ve added another 50–so technically it’s their list of 100 places of a lifetime.
I’ve pulled out the places from their list that you can visit by cruise ship, and have bolded the spots I’ve personally visited. (Note: I’ve only kept places that are actual ports or easy shore excursions, not nearby major cities).
In the future we’ll do a survey on your favorite cruise places of a lifetime. Now, what do you have to say about the Nat Geo choices?
- Athens, Greece
- Barcelona, Spain
- Dublin, Ireland
- Hong Kong
- Istanbul, Turkey
- New York, New York
- Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
- San Francisco, California
- St. Petersburg, Russia
- Tokyo, Japan
- Vancouver, Canada
- Venice, Italy (soon, I hope!)
- Aleutian Islands, Alaska
- Amazon Forest
- Antarctica
- Arnhem Land, Australia
- Auyuittuq National Park, Canada
- Galapagos Islands
- Papua New Guinea’s Coral Reefs
- South Georgia Island, South Atlantic Ocean
- Venezuela’s Tepuis
- Aitutaki, Cook Islands
- Amalfi Coast, Italy
- British Virgin Islands
- Fernando de Noronha Archipelago, Brazil
- Greek Islands
- Hawaiian Islands
- Kerala, India
- Lord Howe Island, Australia
- Mayreau, St. Vincent & the Grenadines
- Molokai, Hawaii
- Pacific Islands
- Osa Peninsula, Costa Rica
- Salina, Italy
- Seychelles
- Torres del Paine, Chile
- Yap’s Outer Islands, Micronesia
- Asturias, Spain
- Azure Coast, Turkey
- Canadian Maritimes
- Cordillera Terraces, Philippines
- Danang to Hue, Vietnam
- Gaspe Peninsula, Canada
- Montenegro
- North Island, New Zealand
- Norway’s Coast
- Easter Island, Chile
- Karnak, Egypt
- Leptis Magna, Libya
- Pyramids, Egypt
- Sagrada Familia, Spain
- Vatican City
Of course, not all these interesting spots are fully gay-friendly…I’m interested in your take on that, too!
SFBear, 
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Joe M and 33 others are discussing. 
Kim, 
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Dee, 
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parag, 
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Randall Shirley
No Friends of Dorothy Party on this boat…or is there?
Hello cruisers.
I just completed a cruise.
CTMA Vacancier Cruise Ferry, photo courtesy CTMA
It was not a luxury cruise, nor was it a cheap cruise. For the same price, about $1,200/person for an inside cabin, there are much nicer ships…especially in the current economy.
But the cruise I took, aboard the MV CTMA Vacancier, is unusual, and I’m curious if any of you have taken a similar “regional speciality” cruise.
The 12,000-ton, 500-passenger Vacancier (French for “holiday maker) sails entirely within Quebec, Canada, traveling a weekly route from Montreal (a glorious destination), up the St. Lawrence River, to its home port of Les Iles de le Madeleine. After a 2-night stop on the islands, the ship returns to Montreal, with day stops on the Gaspe Peninsula and in Quebec City. Most of the passengers are French Canadians, and they happily pay the hefty cruise price to see a tiny group of islands that are legendary in the Quebec culture.
The ship itself is old (circa 1972), and is really just a ferry with upgraded passenger facilities, including a couple of bars, a cafeteria, an evening dining room, and small rooms with exercise equipment and children’s activities. Music is provided by an island singer, or by the ship’s staff crooning to their guitars. The food is sub-par, but the passengers don’t seem to mind. They are quite content to sail within their own waters–a regional staycation, perhaps–viewing shore features they’ve only heard of, such as the giant windmills near Cap Chat or the hole-in-the-rock at Roche Percé.
On board, I met a gay couple, around 30 years old, who live in the Montreal suburbs. When I asked them why they chose this cruise, they shrugged “we’ve always wanted to experience Les Iles de la Madeleine.” It seemed to be the answer of everyone on the boat–gay or straight.
I became table-mates with the couple, and the maitre d’ added a fourth person–a single older woman–to our table. She was straight, but turned out to be the perfect fit. For the two nights we cruised together, we became the ship’s sole “Friends of Dorothy” party. I taught them English words like “shenanigans;” they explained many facets of French Canadian culture to me.
My cruise ended on the Islands where I’m now spending four-nights in a splendid gay-owned B&B, La Butte Ronde. I’ve been treated to dinner by the hosts–one of them, Guy, made his version of the idlands’ signature seafood pie called “pot en pot.” It was crammed full of lobster and scallops, and divinely delicious.
But back to the cruise–I enjoyed sailing to these mysterious islands rather than flying (although I’ll fly back), and I did have a “meet me on board” experience–even if it wasn’t arranged through our site.
Have you ever taken a specialty or regional cruise such as this one? What was your experience? Did you meet fellow gays on board? Share your thoughts!
Randall Shirley
Great San Diego Cruise Hotels
Cruising out of San Diego, California? Here are three highly recommended hotels.
- The Ivy Hotel. Metrosexual to the max. This design hotel in the gentrified Gaslamp area is close to
Rooms at the Ivy Hotel in San Diego are metrosexual to the max!
all the shopping of Horton Plaza, and just a short ride to the gay zone of Hillcrest. Rooms are over-the-top chic. My junior suite had large, flat screen TVs in both rooms. Super comfy beds. The rooftop patio includes a bar with dazzling views, a lap pool (did someone say muscle boys sunbathing…yes, they were there), a fire pit, and on weekend evenings, the coolest dudes and chics San Diego can offer. Several gay pals and I took over the bar one weeknight, and the coversation was 100% “out.” The bartender (likely straight) was right in on it. Fun.
- Best for: Luxury, pampering, exclusivity
- Gay-friendly: VERY
- Distance to cruise pier: 1 mile (walkable with no luggage)
- Distance to airport: 2.5 miles
- Secret tip 1: Call the concierge, request to be driven around downtown in their Escalade. It’s free, you just need to tip. Cruise pier is included. When possible, they’ll even drive you outside the free zone.
- Extra touch: if you forgot your condoms, they have a “love pack” in the minibar
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- Holiday Inn on the Bay. Yes, It’s just a Holiday Inn. But the location cannot be beat! This sprawling hotel complex is quite literally across the street from the cruise ship terminal. Fly in, sleep, walk your bags across the street, sail. It couldn’t be easier. Nothing terribly gay about it, but one of the world’s most convenient port hotels.
- Best for: Quick overnighter, walk to ship
- Gay friendly: we felt comfortable, although the chain is family-focused
- Distance to cruise pier: 0.1 mile (they offer park ‘n cruise packages)
- Distance to airport: 2.7 miles
- Secret tip: request a room facing the water, get up early and watch your ship sail in!
________________________________________
- Park Manor Suites. On our recent San Diego trip, some of our group stayed at this spot and quite
The Park Manor Suites is super gay-friendly, and close to Hillcrest
liked it. It’s a plenty-nice property, and very gay friendly–a member of IGLTA. Rooms are spacious enough, and it’s just across the street from Balboa Park if you want to go jogging or explore the amazing Spanish Colonial architecture of the park.
- Best for: near Hillcrest (SD’s gay village), 0.7 mile, an easy walk.
- Gay friendly: they usually fly a rainbow flag and belong to IGLTA.
- Distance to cruise pier: 2.2 miles
- Distance to airport: 3.2 miles
- Secret tip: request a room facing the park–it’s an amazing view! Plus, be sure to check their site’s “specials” page.
Jay Gordon are discussing. -
Jay Gordon
Several friends and I stayed at the Park Manor Suites a couple of years ago to enjoy San Diego for a few days before our cruise departure. Among their impressive choice of room arrangements is their 2-bedroom suite with dining area, oversized living room, etc. We had such a great time that four of us went back several months later just to wallow in the comfort of the hotel and the joy of exploring San Diego.
LAST WEEK I went back again, this time for a week by myself, and never felt awkward for a moment that I was traveling solo. The staff treats you like family. The kitchenette was handy, but there is a complimentary continental breakfast in the Penthouse, which includes lovely outdoor space with views of Balboa Park and the planes landing at San Diego airport. The Penthouse also now has a gourmet lunch menu of several items at reasonable prices. It is also has the cutest, friendliest wait staff you’ll find anywhere. If you can dine without falling in love, you’re stronger’n I am. They were absolutely adorable.
Downstairs there is a gourmet restaurant (with reasonable prices and a charming wait staff) adjacent to a piano bar with nightly piano and vocal entertainment. Inn on the Park is a friendly and inviting place. You may also eat at the bar or nearby tables and enjoy the entertainment. You may choose from a modified bar menu or the full-blown, “Omigod isn’t this food wonderful!”! menu you’d find in the main restaurant. It’s a great place to meet locals who appreciate the friendly atmosphere and relatively modest prices.
This is a great hotel to enjoy for romance or with friends and families. There is a diverse clientele. It’s close to an impressive collection of bars, restaurants, shops, etc. You can spend days at the museums, shops, and showplaces of Balboa Park — just across the street and a few blocks up. Be sure to see what’s playing at the Old Globe Theatre in the park. What a showcase theater; superb performances!
You can explore San Diego’s major tourist attractions on the Old Town Trolley. Get the 2-day pass; one day is simply not enough. It picks up passengers inside Balboa Park. Shop at Old Town; lunch at the Del Coronado; visit the zoo. This is one of America’s most delightful cities and Park Manor Suites will quickly endear itself to you if you like charm with traditional decor and accommodations. Get your picture taken in that throne in the lobby — or sprawling on the elegant furniture in the nearby sitting room. Talk about your photo ops!
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San Diego hotels
I would choose the Ivy hotel. It looks to be very close to my preferences.
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NicholsLawanda
Make your life time more simple take the http://www.lowest-rate-loans.com and all you need.
Randall Shirley
One bed or two, sirs?
This is similar to the room my partner & I had recently, we simply asked the steward to remake the beds as one. No prob. You?
A question: when you’re cruising on a mainstream itinerary, have you ever had any challenges with your stateroom steward with regards to your sexuality? I.e., if you’re two guys who want a queen/king bed, has the steward generally had the beds prepped that way when you boarded the ship? If not, and you’ve had to request it, have you always had positive responses?
My partner and I have had very good luck with getting the two beds remade as one, although they’ve always been separated when we boarded (fine, as the steward would have no way of knowing we are a couple). On our recent Hawaii cruise, one couple mentioned that during the early days of the voyage their steward asked several times if they would like the beds separated. My suggestion to them: Just tell him/her that you’re a couple.
I’d love to hear what you think about this. Comments, please.
Randall
Ron Cullember, 
Tim, 
Scott and 3 others are discussing. -
Bob G
Never had any problem. We’ve been on Princess, Norwegian CL, and Oceania mainstream (not specifically gay) cruises. Cabin stewards were all helpful and friendly.
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Elesa B.
My wife (yes, we’re still legally married in California until “they” undo it) and I have taken many cruises over the past ten years and have never had a problem when we ask our cabin steward to remake our two beds as one. We’ve always cruised on mainstream lines.
Happy Cruising,
Elesa -
Lee
Interesting that on all but 2 of the cruises we’ve been on, the beds have always been made up as one! No question ever asked about it. On the 2 cruises that the beds were seperated, it was the layout of the cabin, and they could not be combined. I think we are in NCL’s system as a couple, all of the mail comes addressed to both of us by name and Lattitudes numbers. On our Princess trip, we requested it in the Cruise Personalizer after we made the reservation and it was never questioned.
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Scott
I think you will find most cruiseships have majority of crew from countries with much more liberal/excepting lifestyles… I have taken most of my cruises on lines that have had GLBT exclusive cruises so I think it is excepted and I believe that most of the crew enjoy having us aboard.
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Tim
I, too, have never had a problem. My partner and I have taken 3 cruises with Norwegian (another planned for next summer) and have always found the staff to be very friendly and open. On all but one of the cruises, the beds were already pushed together.
By the way, we PREFER “regular” cruises as opposed to gay cruises. My friends who have been on the gay cruises have told us stories. The idea a floating bathhouse, shows with drag queens and pretty boys with too much collagen (and too many implants) is just not our idea of “fun”. We go on cruise ships for the travel experience – not for a “gay” experience.
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Ron Cullember
I had to smile when I read the comments above.
My partner and I never had a problem on any of the mainstream cruise lines we have been on. In fact only once or twice have we been asked by the room-steward, “Shall I separate the beds?” We just laugh and say “NO, its just like home, Thank you very much for asking, but they are fine just the way they are.”
Randall Shirley
Gays at Sea…somewhere near Hilo
Your Editor and Partner at Sea
It’s Christmas Eve eve, and onboard the Celebrity Mercury plenty of creatures are stirring as we finally feel Hawaiian breezes blow across the decks.
The gay guys are all having plenty of fun. Sun, gym, sublime food, dancing, connecting. Gay staffers have noticed us and are warming up. (As yet, haven’t met any lesbians).
It’s all good. In fact, it’s better than good. It’s fantastic. It’s why I continue to believe cruising is the best vacation value on earth.
We’re enjoying getting to know our MMOB pals Mike & Joey. And all the other gays we’ve met seem pretty keen on learning more about how to use the site. Perhaps they’re just a little jealous that Mike & Joey already had good dining partners lined up before the cruise.
Meanwhile…happy KwanChrisMakkuh. I’m off to find a fruity drink and flirt with a hot homo. Wish you were here. Loving this cruise!
Randall
Cruise Ships is discussing. -
Cruise Ships
The most important is to have fun with the right people, and when you are on board of such cruise ship, this is normally expected. I wanted to be there, but unfortunately failed
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David 12:33 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
Thank you for this article and I hope it will make some men think twice about their behaivor. I feel that for others it will fall on deaf ears. I had an experience similar to yours a fews ago on a RCI ship as well. There was a guy in there constantly. I witnessed a fellow (straight) passenger question him if he lived in there. It was embarassing. He would sit in the locker room and stare at any of us. No sooner would anyone walk into the steam room and he would be in there. When I went into the steam room he was there 3 seconds later and sat right near me (in the empty room). It was creepy. My cabin mate and I nick-named him “the creep”. My cabin mate confronted him saying it was creepy and uncomfortable being stared at any time he was naked and the guy mumbled something to the effect that he was half blind and could not see much anyway. I decided to fight fire with fire after a while and stood there naked and stared at him – funny, after that he lost interest in me, so it worked.
John 12:49 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
Randall; I agree, some of these folks make many straight men uncomfortable on ships and ashore in similar circumstances. It is one thing to casually cruise and see if it is returned, but another to make a pest of ones self. Especially on a ship with ready access to private spaces you should offer to take it elsewhere. On a recent mainstream cruise my partner and I found one of the mid-west closeted types who was frightened to take it to our room – afraid the wife would see him LOL. If you are that closeted, maybe you need to re-think what you are looking for out of life.
Mike 3:37 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
On the other hand. I am openly gay. I tried a “gay”{ cruse. I am older and came out late. My partner died and I have been lonely for several years. My experience on the one “gay” cruise that I went on, was so bad that I swore to never try it again. I tried to be open and friendly but “being alone” was the Kiss of death. It may be the nature of the line, but all I found was partners that wanted twenks and were openly rude. It was the worst week of my life. If I wanted to be treated like shit, I would have stayed home.
Richard 7:09 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
I have gone on all-gay cruises a couple of times. I also am older and single; and other passengers were often not too friendly toward me. I quite vividly recall sitting alone on the shore-excursion buses.
There were one or two people who were by themselves but told me (maybe just to put me off) that they had a partner “back home.” Well, it’s certainly not easy being single in the gay world, or being older in the gay world. So it’s worse still when you’re both.
paul 1:13 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
I agree, I came out late and it’s tough OUT there.
Alex 4:40 pm on January 14, 2012 Permalink |
Hi Mike, write me an email whenever you want! walvv@hot….
Mike 11:51 am on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
He guys… Maybe we should all book a cruise together. I have had the same experience. No one on any gay cruises want a single older man around. That is it Final and the End.
Arno 12:07 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Well, I think we all had similiar experiences. The All Gay Cruises turned into Circuit Queen Party. We had early dinner seating and we sat together with some of the oldest men on the ship and let me tell you we had the best time and laughs. One couple was 55 yrs. together, can you imagine? So I started my own cruises, 200 + gay men, their lesbian and str8 friends, on a str8 cruise. And we have the best time ever. No one will be sitting alone in busses. I’ll get them all together and make new friends. http://www.BearCruiseUSA.com check it out. Thanks guys. Arno
Daryl Seamark 2:00 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Mike\
You obviously went on the wrong cruise. I openly and heartily recommend either Arnos’s cruises or The Chumley Bear Cruise. Being an older guy myself (lets just say that this is the 2nd anniversary of me being 69) I have always had a hell of a good time on these cruises. Bears make everyone feel comfortable, or we try to. Queen, twink cruises leave me cold, but I definitely without hestiation go on either of these two cruises. Good Time Guaranteed……
Philipp' 3:16 am on February 17, 2011 Permalink |
We were on our 2nd (& last) gay cruise. There was a queue to enter the sauna! One had to wait for someone to “finish” for space to open up! And we wanted to just bake.
Rex 6:30 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
Steam rooms – I love the topic. I tried to write about it once on CruiseCritic and got banned…
Anyway, my partner and I visit the steam room/sauna while on cruises. And we’re not in the steam room for sex, although if something happens, we’re not upset about it. We usually go at the same time every day (after the day’s activities and before getting ready for dinner), so we generally see the same people there every day.
One of the big reasons we can relax is that we chat with anyone who comes in, too. That immediately reduces blatant sexual tension, because it’s hard to concentrate on sexual things while talking about what you did during the day (and when everyone knows your name and that you have a wife/lover/kids back in the cabin).
I often wonder if other people think we’re “the creeps”, so I go out of my way to make sure that our behavior is acceptable.
I’ve thought about posting “steam room reviews” about the ships we’ve been on (i.e. Grand Princess is tiny, co-ed, and you have to go outside to get to it; you have to pay to get to the co-ed spa on the Oasis of the Seas; the Brilliance of the Seas men’s showers had to have been designed by a gay man), but I don’t know where to do it.
Mark 12:48 pm on June 14, 2011 Permalink |
Rex-
Actually Cruise Critic does have a thread going, although it's pretty tame. I believe the original poster of the thread gives his e-mail out (and has some interesting stories of his conquests)…the information is good and describes the spa (men – women and co-ed) of many of the cruise lines and particular ships. Try to Google "cruise ship spa" or something like that. It's a good 5 or 6 pages long. Remembering that CC can be read by minors as well as adults, they need to keep it clean; however, you can deduce what you will from the info.
Marty 8:20 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
At the risk of annoying others, I thought this article was prudish and condescending…I think everything should be done in moderation…may be you may want to try and see if there’s a little action…Of course, I wouldnt “live” in the steam room myself…there are so many things to do, but I would may be check it out at different times of the day and see if anything turns up…If you’re partnered get a life..come on so you’re partnered and you have sex readily available to U.
Randall 9:43 pm on February 2, 2011 Permalink |
@Marty: opinion noted. What I’m saying is take the sex out of the public spaces. That’s all.
@mike & Richard: not sure how we went from steam rooms on mainstream cruise ships to the question of how people are treated on all-gay cruises, but interesting fodder for more conversations!
Cheers. Randall, Site Editor
Clayton 12:22 pm on February 7, 2011 Permalink |
Eventually, all of us get older, I’m in my mid-thirties. I think some of these rude guys on the all-gay cruises need to remember that they too one day will be older. Sooner or later, I can gurantee it! I believe the key is to be kind. If you are not interested there is no reason to be rude. I actually work on a cruise ship. We want friendly people not jerks. Aren’t we all human afterall?
Marty 6:03 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Amen and to that…and this editor definitely was rude, but hey it’s a free country and a free press…
SFBear 9:16 am on April 5, 2013 Permalink |
Pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think? As he stated, he’s stating to take sex somewhere else, NOT in a public place. Not only is it not appropriate to engage in sexual activity in public, but plenty of straight (real definition) and even gay men would like to use the sauna for what it’s for. A sauna, not a hook up place.
Ken 1:39 am on February 8, 2011 Permalink |
Just back from a cruise where, in the company of some gay-friendly cruisers, a gay cruiser rather matter of factly announced that he found it funny that all the married guys were hanging out in the sauna for casual sex. I thought it an inappropriate comment and was embarrassed for everyone standing there. I’m no prude, and guys will be guys… but there are important public issues in the world these days, and we all represent our community in these situations.
Mike 11:58 am on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Let’s face it. Cruises are set up for couples, not singles, price of the cabin is for a double. If that is both beds seperate or together it still is for 2. Singles on any cruise (gay or straignt) is the kiss of death. Sauna or not.
jonathan 1:14 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
I wouldn’t mind a steam room review. ha! I made sure I visited the steam room on my trip. didn’t try it though til our last 3 days of our trip but i did spend time visiting steam dry and the indoor pool side lounge chairs. I was really horny during my trip but I just went to the steam rooms to chat. I actually chatted with 3 gay guys i wouldn’t have met if i was not there. It was fun and not dirty. Well except most of them showing their junk to me. but it was a public mens steam room and i didn’t want any action and too nervous! it was neat seeing the same guys.
Kevin 3:18 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
I know what you mean Mike…I went on a cruise single last year to Bermuda. I had a nice time but was also mostly alone. I tried to go up to what appeared to be single passengers but most turned out to be just couples straying from their mates temporarily. I wasn’t looking for gay or straight, just someone to share good times with. very hard to do. But…and this is a big but…I am gonna venture forth again.
My partner of 9 yrs died recently and I am pretty lonely …so I have always enjoyed NCL freestyle cruising with him, for lotsa reasons. The new EPIC has recently launched and She has 128 solo cabins, with a private solo lounge and solo cruise host. This sounds awsome. I am bound to see at least 128 solos on board and meet a good chunk of them and not be so alone. gay str8 no biggie, but if I do the Math 10% of 128 is 12.8 so who knows???? LOL I am leaving 3 weeks from today to hit Miami and the cruise.
Gotta get back up on that horse.
Nice chatting with you all.
Kev
Robert 12:20 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
please dont judge
you are a partnered gay man who has sex readily available to you, and not a closeted midwestern out of towner travelling with his parents.
If you dont like it.. use your voice.. say.. no thank you.. he will stop
I dont need anyone to tell me what is appropriate “gay behaviour” is
There is public sex everywhere .. gay AND straight. some people think its Hot
Peter 2:45 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Robert. I am a gay man in my late 40′s and have been out since my college years. I would never judge another persons personal situation as everyone is different. What I do know is that in today’s age here in the U.S. there is no reason to be in the closet. I’m an avid traveler both on land and at sea and trust me…I’ve met my share of men. I have to say that I do agree with Randall. If the hormones hit…take it somewhere private or visit a bath house at a local port. Nothing wrong with a little flirting in the Steam Room but I always try to remember that this is a very public space. Peter
Randall Shirley 6:46 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Robert: of course SOME people think it’s hot. But then you start drilling down to people’s versions of “hot” and “not hot.” Anyway, this thread has been nothing if not fascinating…and I stand my ground on everything that I’ve written. Fully flummoxed that some folks seem to see it as prudish or rude. Just reiterating common decency, IMHO.
Hal 12:40 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
A lot depends on a person’s personality. I am a gay man in my mid 70s, who always travel alone, and have the BEST time. The cruises that I go on are usually 7 days or 10 days. In fact, I am looking forward to my 14th cruise with Holland America (10 days) in a few months. I meet and chat with both gay and straight people. It has not been a problem. I often meet other gay guys on cruises through this website. While I do use the gym, I rarely use the sauna, because it is not always in the locker room. I NEVER go on gay cruises; they are always mainstream. I don’t go to any of the “gay” cocktail parties, but still enjoy my cruises.
Bob 2:29 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Way to go, Hal!
Pete 3:05 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Royal Caribbean–at least Allure of the Seas–has figured out a way to keep people out of the sauna and steam. They charge $30 PER DAY to use it. And they made it co-ed. I will never go on another RC cruise and will never pay to use this amenity that is routine and gratis on every one of the other 12 ships I have been on.
Rex 6:41 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
I was wondering about whether they would “fix” that problem from the Oasis: it, too, does not even have a changing room for the gym, let alone showers/sauna/steam room.
I’d forgot to mention earlier that the showers in the gym locker rooms are a huge reason to go there: they’re more spacious than the shower in your room; there’s no cloth curtain sticking to your butt every two seconds; and the shower steam doesn’t fog up the mirror. So the Oasis/Allure not having “gym showers” is actually a real issue. (We’ve also run into men showering/shaving in the gym locker room because their wives are in their bathrooms for 45 minutes, and it’s quicker/easier to go to the gym to get ready for dinner.)
BTW – it’s pretty easy to request a free pass for a port day to the “luxury spa” – we’ve done it a couple of times.
Randall Shirley 6:42 pm on February 16, 2011 Permalink |
Love that suggestion on “port day” spa passes
Brian 6:27 pm on May 25, 2011 Permalink |
Although the Oasis/Allure charge for their co-ed facilities, the Freedom, Voyager, and Radiance classes do not and their steam/sauna are in respective locker rooms. We enjoy a nice steam after a workout. It’s part of our daily routine. Hesitant about booking Allure or Oasis, but we sail a lot on RCI and love the facilities. Check out other ships. Voyager class is perfect!!
Philipp' 3:33 am on February 17, 2011 Permalink |
We were on a non-gay cruise, and a German gay guy trolled the steam room. He maintained he had “lots of success” with the hetero men. We found the behavior a little off-putting, as being seen with him might arouse “guilt by association”. We did see it as not our problem, and figured the ship would handle it …. or not!
Mike 6:15 am on March 3, 2011 Permalink |
Randall, I offer a BIG thumbs-up on the contents of your post.
django 10:17 am on April 21, 2011 Permalink |
anybody can tell me how much it is too use the sauna/steamroom on adv of the seas?
Brian 6:29 pm on May 25, 2011 Permalink |
No charge. Not co-ed. Great steam room. Our favorite ship!!!
joe 8:39 am on April 27, 2011 Permalink |
just came back from cruise on Emerald Princess, the gay dancers from the shows would come and use the steam/saunas that were for the guest.
Paul 11:28 am on June 27, 2011 Permalink |
Am a married man whose wife takes forever in the bathroom getting ready. So on a recent cruise I went to use the locker room to shave shower and dress. Decided to steam first and was amazed that there were five guys in there having oral sex and masturbating. Went back each day, same guys in there. I never participated but it was pretty erotic watching.
Scott 4:19 am on July 1, 2011 Permalink |
Not necessarily referring to the instances mentioned above, but it’s Interesting that people think someone is “there all the time” but don’t consider themselves as such when they are both there at the same times. I wonder if, from his view, YOU were the one who was there all the time.
Jay 9:56 am on January 14, 2012 Permalink |
Hi All: just got back from RC Enchantment of the Seas. No Sauna. No Steamroom. I was truly disappointed that RC removed those amenities to expand their Spa rooms. Do not travel on Enchantment. Also showing its’ age.
Mark 4:27 am on January 31, 2012 Permalink |
I use the sauna and steam room on every cruise ship that has them. I usually go in the morning and then in the afternoon early evening and go for a couple of hours each time, I have a routine sauna, then steam then shower and do it each time, I do all naked. Americans are uptight about being naked around other people, that is why i love going to Europe or Japan. I have seen it all in the sauna and steam room, from guys asking me to go back to their room, to almost circle jerks in the dry sauna to other things as well. I had a young Scottish guy tell me that he was on holiday with his family for three weeks he even introduced me to his friends who were traveling with them all, when they left he proceeded to tell me that he wears a kilt as formal wear to dinner with nothing on underneath, I am like OK. He ask me blatantly if we could go to my room to have sex I declined but I was not put off by it at all. I still went to the steam room and sauna and if we was there we chatted no big deal. But I think I might be different than other things like that do not bother me at all. Usually I am in my own space when I go in there to relax and detox.
Patrick 12:05 pm on February 20, 2012 Permalink |
I am about to embark on the NCL Epic. I was wondering if the steam room is “behaved” or what the costs are. I never get to use this feature anywhere else in my life, so I was looking forward to checking it out….
Randall 12:45 pm on February 20, 2012 Permalink |
Hey Patrick — In my experience, it’s very hard to know what the steam room situation on any ship will be like–mostly becasue every cruise differs based on who the other passengers are. It also varies depending on the layout/access to the steam and spa areas. On some of my cruises, the steam room has been completely separate from the spa, for men-only, and free. On others, its been part of the spa. Find this out right away.
I’d advise you get on board and head for the spa. They will likely be open for tours during the embarkation time, and likely offering specials and deals to get you to buy a pass for the full cruise.
My suggestion: if you like the look and feel of the facilities and will USE them regardless of whether other gay men are hanging out there or not, then buy the pass. My partner and I have done this, and totally enjoyed the experience–we used it every day on our Mexico cruise last March–and the facilities were co-ed. That was NOT a particularly cruisey steam room when we were around, although there were PLENTY of gay men using it.
Please report back here on your experience after your upcoming cruise, and bon voyage!
Max 8:40 pm on April 1, 2012 Permalink |
Max wonders what you found on The Epic, Patrick. He is booked on it early in May and has been told there is a charge but is unsure if it is all male or co-ed. Thanks for ANY info you can supply! “Hot and Juicy” personal tidbits would be OK too! M.
Max 10:16 pm on March 14, 2012 Permalink |
Hey … VERY interesting discussion. I think Randall’s points were excellent … but I do enjoy a nice steam and if some sexual opportunities come my way I am not going to be shy … but WILL act appropriately. I have gone back to a cabin … or slipped into a private shower stall … but I have had action on the spot too BEING SURE others are not around who will be offended. I am disappointed by the number of great ships that are turning their saunas and steams into a money generating spa venture. The co-ed spas are total crap. The sauna and steam on the MSC Poesia were stunningly beautiful (free in NA waters and pricey in Europe) but poorly laid out with poor signage and I found naken Japanese women in the men’s steam and naked couples in the men’s sauna and glass doors allowed pretty much everyone to see everyone nude … but it was great never-the-less! The entire spa area waslike something out of a Sultan’s Palace! Oh those Europeans are not prudish!
WW 6:04 am on March 23, 2012 Permalink |
I liked the article until the comment about how you think it’s ridiculous that people are still closeted. I guess you don’t realize that there are still places in America where a gay man would be lynched for being out. Not hitting on guys or dressing in drag, but simply because he’s gay. What’s ridiculous is your flippant attitude towards the gay men and women in this country who don’t live in an area where being out is an option. And it’s also flippant because some people aren’t strong enough emotionally to come out and deal with the wrath of a right winged family. I went through hell and back when i came out to my family and I know how hard it can be. It’s nice that you and your partner have such a great life and are so comfortable with who you are and your relationship. But it doesn’t give you the right to call people who are not out “ridiculous.” Do i condone the steam room cruisers behavior? Not by any means, but I do sympathize with him. I met a very attractive man on a business trip. He told me how closeted he was. How he tried for so many years to suppress being gay because in his town down south and in his family it just wasn’t an option. He is trying to save his money so he can at the least move to a gay friendlier part of the country, but said if he came out his father would probably beat him within an inch of his life. Being in the closet is unfortunate, but it’s not ridiculous. And with politicians like Santorum, Gingrich, Romney, Bachman, Palin and others, who are running very openly homophobic platforms, they are scaring some people from coming out. IT would be behoove you to be more compassionate to the members of our community who don’t have the luxury to come out or are still coming to terms with their sexuality. We all come out in our time, when we’re ready, when we’re sure of what we’re doing. And no part of that journey is “ridiculous.”
Randall 10:30 am on March 23, 2012 Permalink |
Hi WW. Your point is well made. “Unnecessary” would be a better word choice.
I will stand by my personal belief that there is no need to be closeted today, certainly not in America, Canada, or most of the Western world. Gay men and women have an abundance of options including the option of moving to more-accepting communities, staying put and fighting for their rights, and yes staying closeted. The steps an individual takes to claim his/her rights as a gay person are up to them.
Yes, I choose to live in a metropolitan area where gays are generally treated as equals, and where I am comfortably open about who I am. And I am aware that there are places even in North America where I am less-likely to volunteer information about my orientation. I grew up in one of them, and came from a very right-wing, religious background. But I eventually decided that rather than giving my family and community the non-right to keep me closeted, I would give them the right to accept or reject me. It has taken time, and some of them still likely believe I’m going to hell, but honesty has been my best policy.
Happy cruising.
SFBear 10:59 am on April 5, 2013 Permalink |
Here Here! My story is very similar. Glad you made that choice to come out give others the opportunity to accept or reject you. Hope to meet you and your other half on a cruise some day!
Joe M 11:41 pm on April 11, 2012 Permalink |
Nicely said. Me and my partner and our son that will be 10 soon do not want to go into steam rooms with lurker either. Our son that is 10 tells us that in school many if not all the people at his school are cool with gay people. So you are right in this day and age the closet has been closed for at least 20 years!!!!
Billybeachboy 12:21 pm on April 15, 2012 Permalink |
Not long back from a week on Crown Princess. The male sauna & steam area was on all of my visits very quiet. One married old man (75ish) from Dallas thought it acceptable to have an erection in full view of all who used the facility & requested I removed my towel so he could see my [manhood*]. I usually sit naked in saunas but found his behaviour totally unacceptable & told him that he should take lessons in discretion! I’m not against having fun in a sauna, but discretion & respect for other users is paramount. Men like this give all gay men a bad reputation.
*Ed note: please do not use profanity when commenting on the site. “Manhood” is the site editor’s word. Thanks!